My Son Continues to Hear Schizophrenia Voices
When it comes to hearing schizophrenia voices I think my son leads the pack in hearing them. I’m not sure why but everything I have ever heard or read about schizophrenia seems to be less than what my son experiences! I have no idea as to why that would be.
Although I would never in a million years want to be in his shoes it seems like whoever the voices are in most cases they are having a good time. I say that because he always seems to be laughing along with them. When he is talking to them he is in an upbeat mood. When you ask who they are you get an immediate no one!
I wish I could crack open his mind and see exactly what is going on but I know that is impossible. As a dad you always want to be able to help your children and when you can’t it make you feel somewhat like a failure! I find comfort in God and I know that He is in complete control of everything.
Do I feel that God gave him this mental illness? Absolutely not!
God gives us the free will to choose and in this case his biological mother and father chose to do hard drugs before and throughout her pregnancy! Who says drugs are a personal choice?
At one point more than a year ago one of his schizophrenia voices told him that they were going to assassinate him. In this case it was a female voice. To give you an understanding of how real these voices are he called 911 to report that he was going to be assassinated. Of course when the police arrived it didn’t take them long to figure out that he had a mental illness. Unfortunately it ended him back in the locked side of the mental health hospital.
For those that do not have anyone close to them or any experience with a person plagued with a mental illness like schizophrenia the locked ward of a mental hospital is like prison. In short you lose your freedom and the only way out is for you to convenience someone you are not a threat.
When he was at the State Mental Hospital he believes he was raped! Now I do not believe it happened but in his mind it did. When you understand that in his mind everything seems absolutely real does it really matter if it actually happened or not. The mental anguish is the same.
The schizophrenia voices seem to be more prevalent when he is off by himself. Therefore, it leads me to believe he suppresses them when he is around other people, even me his father.
From a dad’s perspective I know that he is getting food, water, and shelter to survive within our home. But the human spirit needs more than the basics or it will seek them in other ways. Since he is not accepted by most people he gets that acceptance from within.
He wants a girl friend! He wants a job! He wants friends in general that understand him! He wants compassion! He wants love from others! He just wants to feel normal! But he has these schizophrenia voices that haunt him one day and comfort him the next. Society wants to put him in a locked mental hospital and forget about him. The problem is that he has the same needs as all of us.
Thank you and may God bless you.
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