Schizophrenia Disorder – My Heart was Beating Out of my Chest!

Testifying at my sons hearing that would ultimately send him to the mental home for his schizophrenia disorder had me turning inside and my heart beating out of my chest.

It was now time for the hearing to begin. We were all called into the small room where we saw a group of three people sitting at a table up front. There were microphones for those individuals, as well as, a chair up front for what we found out to be the witness seat. That seat also had a microphone.

My heart was beating out of my chest!

My wife and I were sitting together and squeezing each other's hands. Both our hands were sweating.

We could see our son sitting at another table along with his attorney. He had one foot propped up on the chair and the other down. I had to wonder if he really understood what was happening!

We wanted nothing but the best for him.

I again began to wonder if it was the right thing for him to be sent to the state mental home clear across the state even with his schizophrenia disorder. We certainly were not going to be able to make regular trips to see him since it was over four hundred miles away.

The hearing started!

The individual sitting up front in the middle began the formal proceedings by going over the purpose of the hearing in a legal fashion. She made sure to identify everyone in the room, the date and time, and many other incidental things that I can't recall right now. One thing was certain and that was that this was very official and whatever the ruling would be, it was final.

My heart even got faster at that point I am sure! It was suddenly more real than ever now!

Could I go through with it? I looked at my son and he seemed indifferent! Maybe they still had him so drugged up that he didn't understand the process. This was a parent's worst nightmare! We were sending him off to a place that he could not leave from without the permission of a doctor. He would be in there with others that had mental problems. Would he be safe? Would he be afraid? Would they feed him properly? Would we be able to call him? Would he want to speak with us if we did call? Would he hate us forever"?

The nurse was the first witness that the attorney representing the state called.

She stated dearly that he had been diagnosed with schizophrenia disorder and that he was still a danger to himself. That in her opinion he was unable to care for himself. That he was still having delusions. That she could tell even while we were Sitting in there that he was having them. My son's attorney objected and the statement was withdrawn. It was very hard to listen to her. She was very hard on him but I suppose she was being honest.

Now it was my turn. I was called forward to take the witness seat! This was it! Crap!

Thank you and May God Bess you!

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