Out of Control Children – What do I do?

Are you ready to pull your hair out because of out of control children?

Do you feel like just giving up and running away from home?

If you have out of control children and you feel like you will never get a handle on the situation, ever, you are not alone!

Many parents today just don't know what to do when their children are out of control.

My wife and I were those parents! We were ready to give up, change our names and run away from home because we just didn't know what to do!

Now my Dad wasn't much help since his solution to children that were out of control was to knock the crap out of them, like he did when I was growing up. I must admit that option sounded pretty well sometimes, but deep down I knew the result would be the same as it was then. A lot of pain and resentment toward my Dad!

When I would tell him that there are laws now that prohibit you from beating your kids, his response was that if they weren't behaving properly then the State can have them! Wow, I thought!

My wife and I have four children. Our two oldest are adopted from very tough situations. One was removed from his home at four months for being beaten, and the other at birth because he was addicted to cocaine and spent the first three months of his life going through withdrawals.

Our youngest son was born two months early and was not expected to live. Out youngest, who is our only daughter is the only child who didn't have a rough start.

Needless to say, beating them for bad behavior was not an option for me and my wife.

Our son who was born addicted to cocaine is permanently mentally disabled, but this wasn't determined until later on in his life. At the age of six they told us he had ADHD. We had no problem believing this since his behavior was unbelievable.

He rarely listened to anything we asked him to do. He told lies as if it were the truth. He would get up in the middle of the night and raid the refrigerator and then deny it. He wouldn't get up for school. He even went to a juvenile detention center for missing too much school. We ended up having to hire an attorney to make sure we didn't lose our rights as parents.

Our other children fed off this and before we knew it all of them were out of control. My wife and I would get into fights over how to handle the situations. We had the police at our home because our youngest boy would not come out of his room. I could go on and on, but I know you know what I am telling you. You just feel helpless!

Well there is good news. There are ways to stop this behavior in its tracks. Our son who early in life was diagnosed with ADHD, and was later diagnosed with schizophrenia is now living in his own apartment totally able to take care of himself. A great caring and responsible adult.

Our oldest son is also successful and living on his own making great decisions. He is equally a great and responsible adult now.

Our two youngest children listen very well, always helpful, and are simply great children. Both are still in school. One is in middle school and the other is in high school.

We had been to every expert in the world trying to find the solution. From counselors to doctors, and although they all gave us advice, for the most part it just didn't work.

With help, we finally understood that arguing and fighting with them was not the answer, and that there was a better way to handle the behavior. It all boiled down to the right consequence for the behavior. That arguing would only compound the problem and not come even close to solving it.

Better yet, the consequences would be decided by them prior to the bad behavior. What a concept.

It was unbelievable to see the difference. My wife and I felt like a giant weight was removed from us. What a blessing!

Thank you and good luck and May God Bless You!

Do you have Children that are Out of Control?

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