The Definition Of Leadership Does Not Include Being a Bully!

Throughout time people have been trying their best to come up with the definition of leadership. Leadership journals have printed article after article on it. There is even a market for many leadership games on the subject. I suppose since I am writing this article I would be included in this statement, although I am not selling anything. I suppose everyone has their own motivations for trying to define leadership, however, mine is more about helping people to grow both in the business world and spiritually.

I was lying in bed the other night and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Whenever I dealt with someone in my private life about business I became a bully. Not just a bully but a great big pain in the back side bully. Keep in mind I often got what I wanted but at the cost of the person I was dealing with. Generally speaking I left the person I was dealing with in a pile of rubble. But until now I didn’t really mind. In fact I was proud of myself for getting what I wanted. I would brag to others about how successful my negotiation skills were. How selfish!! How immature! What a big A Hole I was!

That night I was lying in bed I realized that leaders don’t bully people to get what they want even in their private lives. You see in the business world I was well respected as a very good leader.I treated everyone with respect and honor. Everyone responds to me positively and I have a great team that I can count on without question. I consider myself as a natural leader. In fact my definition of leadership matches up with my business life style of leadership. Treat people with honor and respect and value them as individuals and their contributions to your organization and I can guarantee in almost all cases people will respond.

However, in my private life I operated under a different (flawed as it was) set of rules. In order to get what you wanted you had to be tougher, smarter, and more aggressive than your competition. Whether it was fighting with an insurance company over a claim or the cable man not arriving when they said they would be.

The problem with my private life’s definition of leadership was that it left me knowing that I was not representing my faith in God properly. Every time I battled/bullied my way through a business transaction in my private life I know I destroyed my competition. Again, I got what I wanted but I was not representing who I was or wanted to be. My faith told me that by treating these people in the way I was treating them I was destroying their ability to see GOD through me. In fact I am quite certain they saw someone else that in most cases carried a pitch fork and will be living in a very hot place in the future.

I needed to change and change quickly. Therefore I made a commitment to GOD that I would do my very best to operate under my business life’s definition of leadership. That meant that I would have to start treating all people, not just at work, with honor and respect. That meant that I would need to listen more than I spoke. That meant that I would need to reach out to help them when they were struggling even if it meant that I might not get what I wanted.

You see the definition of leadership is not about getting what you want. It is about finding a way to rally everyone, including myself, to accomplish something that benefited everyone. The bottom line is that if I bullied my way into getting a better deal on something, but because of my actions someone failed to find GOD then the better deal is not worth the cost. I have a lot of work to do in my private life to match my business life, but I will continue to try.

Thank you and May God bless you!

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